I love my job. I really do. But if at this moment I could be doing something else I would easily say I would want to be a writer for Entertainment Weekly. I am such a pop culture junkie and the fact that these people get PAID to write about pop culture is amazing. My two absolute favorite EW staffers are Michael Slezak and Kristen Baldwin. They are mean, smart and hilarious. Anything they write or talk about is great. I really think they are fantastic writers, but I also love all their videos on EW's site. They have such great chemistry and you can tell they are just great friends. Every time I watch their videos I instantly wish I was in the room with them taking part in their conversations.
Michael and Kristen are at their absolute best when they are talking American Idol. I was a casual fan season 7 when David Cook won my heart, but it was truly Michael and Kristen that made me an "Idoloonie" (their words not mine). I am addicted to Idol because I want to know what they are talking or writing about. I watched the Bachelorette last season just to read what Kristen had to say about it!
I am so thrilled Idol is back and really can't wait for Hollywood week and the competition to get underway. When Idol is back that means Idolatry is back. Idolatry is Michael's weekly take on this week's Idol and it always makes me laugh out loud (esp the graphics on the little TV in Michael's office). I will be sad when Kristen goes on maternity leave, but I'm sure she will be back with a vengence upon her return. If you like Idol I highly suggest you watch this and even if you don't I suggest you watch this because you still have time to jump on the Idol bandwagon this season!
http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/01/29/idolatry-american-idol-katy-perry/
Not to mention their is some BONUS David Cook introducing Idolatry this week - thank goodness I read that online before I saw it because otherwise I might have had a heart attack due to excitement. I still might because next week Michael is airing an interview he did with David this week and I seriously am pee my pants excited about it.
Also if you are on Twitter (and you should be) follow Michael @EWMichaelSlezak
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
SCORE!
SO back in summer 2008 when I joined my new gym, I bought personal training sessions that were 6x a month for a year. Well I had a hard time always getting scheduling to work with my fabulous trainer Danielle, plus holiday breaks and my crazy work summer, than I ended up still have extra after the year, but they don't expire until after 6 months of when your contract ends. Well I thought august 2009 I would stop getting billed for training and I could use mine up. Well it turns out I had to WRITE A LETTER to the company cancelling my training services. At around the same time my trainer Danielle tells me she is leaving the gym for a different job to make some more money and I get assigned a new trainer name Phillip. To make a LOOOOOONG story short, Phillip and I NEVER trained together, we played phone tag for like 6 weeks, with ME doing most of the calling. So finally in like mid October I tell Danielle's boyfriend Greg who is also a trainer about all this drama and he says he'll take me on as a client. YAY. So for like a month I was hardcore with Greg and he was really pushing me which I liked. Then we break for Thanksgiving and Christmas because it is SO crazy busy. So I get back to the gym the first week of January and I'm on my OH TEN fitness mission and look to schedule a training session with Greg. OH WAIT, the system tells me my remaining sessions expired. Umm that's 20 sessions aka like $300-$400 bucks right there kids. So I like storm over to the gym - having decided to be nice, but also stern (as much as I like yelling at people, it doesn't always get me places, nor does crying). So like 2 weeks ago I pretty much present my case about Phillip sucking at life and how I was really without a trainer for like 2 months. The guy I talked to say he's relay the message to his boss. In the mean time I printed off the dates of my expired sessions, examined my contract etc...as "evidence." Well as week goes by and I don't hear from the guy I talked to. So I see my old trainer Danielle (she still works out at my gym) and I'm telling her about everything, so she is like let's go up there and talk to the managers that are up there. I was ready to get into my story after Danielle gave them the brief overview and the manager is like "oh I was going to call you this week, no problem, we can give you your sessions back, don't worry about it." AYAYAYAYAYAY! This was last week and I was waiting for my session balances to show up on the booking website and today they DID. 20 beautiful session and they even gave me 6 months to use them - even though I plan on being hardcore and getting through them sooner. Regardless I am BEYOND PUMPED. I just called Greg to tell him the news so I think he's excited to kick my ass as well.
In other news I am 99% sure I am running a 5K in Washington, DC this May - but more on that later when I firm things up.
Another sidenote: I kind of binged the past 2 weeks since I was out of town and feel HELLA guilty about it, but I should have a pretty "normal" schedule for the next month, so I hope I can stay on track. However, I was in Atlanta this weekend and I got to go shopping at Trader Joes which was AWESOME picked up some REALLY great stuff.
In other news I am 99% sure I am running a 5K in Washington, DC this May - but more on that later when I firm things up.
Another sidenote: I kind of binged the past 2 weeks since I was out of town and feel HELLA guilty about it, but I should have a pretty "normal" schedule for the next month, so I hope I can stay on track. However, I was in Atlanta this weekend and I got to go shopping at Trader Joes which was AWESOME picked up some REALLY great stuff.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The Writings on the Wall
I was thinking about my first blog EVER back in 2004, when I was assigned to create one in my Creative Non-Fiction class my senior year of college. We used the "new" blog technology to post our writing so our classmates could read and critique it. I thought I would share some of my favorites with you here. Keep in mind many of them were based on honing particular styles of writing.
***
Friday, October 15, 2004
Paragraph experiments
Original
He surprised me. Have you ever known someone for a while and then see them in a new light. I knew of him for two years before I ended up working with him. He was just a friend, nothing more, but one day I suddenly found myself extremely attracted to everything about him. I was drawn in by his mysterious eyes and half smiles that hung on his face like a crooked license plate. I even began to appreciate the small things, like those stone washed jeans that he always used to wear and his wide collection of interesting sweatshirts, each with a unique story. Yet I was searching for my way to connect with him.
Metaphor use
He was as unpredictable as a tornado. At times he would sweep you up, just to throw you back down or never bother you at all. He intrigued me. His eyes, which resembled a fresh brewed hazelnut coffee, with eyelashes that danced with every blink of his eye. He always had a half smile that hung on his face like a crooked license plate. The small details that made him, him also sent my heart racing. The jeans that he always used to wear that were as blue as a robin’s egg. His sweatshirts were very important to him, each of them had a unique story. One sweatshirt he bought in high school while at Disney World, he liked it because it had three buttons at the top AND a hood. One of this favorite details of the sweatshirt was the little rip in the front pocket, the top of the pocket hung down like a floppy bunny ear. He didn’t remember when or why it ripped, but he didn’t care because he said, "It gives the sweatshirt personality."
Start with the ending of the essay...build backwards
His number one fear is to let people really get to know him. It’s no surprise that is why he hides behind his crooked smiles, silly sweatshirts and mind games. He needs to stop trying to distract people with his ways and let people in. He’d be surprised how wonderful that could be. His distractions only caused me to be more interested; we got to be very close, too close in his standards. It was his insecurities that led to our distance. I really thought I got to know him, but I guess I never really knew him at all.
Sentence Rhythm
He liked his mystery. Known. He preferred not to be. He hid behind his quirks, brown eyes and sweatshirts. He could not distract me with all of his ways, not even the mind games that he often plays. I searched for a way to be let in. The common love of music was the right place to begin. I wish I could say that things worked out in the end, but the sad truth is that he is no longer my friend.
***
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Speaking in Silence
I find it ironic how the things I hesitate to write publicly are thing that I constantly write about in my journal. To me words are very powerful and need to be crafted. I do not properly express myself when I talk. There is not enough time to think and process what you want to say when you talk. There is also no backspace button when you talk. Sometimes I find myself wishing that I’d let people read my journals. I think it would help some of my relationships with people and give them a chance to know me better.
I write to truly hear myself. I have found that when I talk to other people I only speak. I do not hear. The best time for me to hear is when I am alone with only my thoughts. I allow myself time most nights to sit, think and journal. Writing in my journal is like my own personal therapy session.
When I write what is on my mind I am able to free it. The knowledge that my personal thoughts are documented helps me sleep at night. If the time comes that I need to revisit those thoughts I simple have to go back in my journal. When I reread my entries I am transported back to those memories. Writing gives me a chance to make connections and understand.
I write because I want to be heard. I am a very complicated person. I let very few people "in" and even then it is on a limited basis. The only person I can trust 100% with my innermost thoughts and emotions is myself.
Writing for me is how I heal.
***
Saturday, September 11, 2004
J is for Jitters
Finally it is time to enter the room of the first class of the first day of the school year. Where to sit? Should I sit wherever or are they going to put us in alphabetical order. Most teachers favor alphabetical order, it makes it easier on them to get to know our names. I already know where I’ll be sitting if it’s alphabetical. In the middle of the room because I am a J. I envy the A,B,C or the X,Y,Z students because they get to sit next to the window depending on the room. I never get to sit by the window. I sit dead center of the room, usually in the first few sits near the teacher. I guess that isn’t so bad, it made me a better student because I wasn’t distracted the window or who is walking past the door. I also made friends with many of the H,I,J,K,L students.
***
Friday, September 03, 2004
ENFJ = LEO
I am a student of life; there is not just one way to teach me. My education style inside the classroom as well as outside the classroom is always evolving. According to the typology tests we took online I am an ENFJ who has a kinesthetic learning preference and I favor a teaching environment which favors that dimension. I strongly agree with these outcomes. I am a big fan of personality and preference tests, I tend to believe them. There are definite trends in people and how their personalities and preferences affect every aspect of their life.
I would like to believe that I know myself very well, it’s taken a lot of time, but I think I have figured out that mystery that is me. One major source of self discovery has been through studying astrology and the zodiac. My Jung personality is an ENFJ, an extroverted, intuitive, feeling, judgmental person. All these qualities are also found strongly in the sign of Leo. I am a perfect example of a Leo. Zodiac signs help explain and illustrate different types of personalities and behaviors. As a Leo I have an appreciation for the arts and strong people skills.
In classes which are more factual I prefer to see what is being taught as well as work alone. When working with a group in classes such as science and math, I find the other group members to be more of a distraction than a help. In classes that are more based in theory such as sociology I enjoy class discussion and working with other students. Most classes I have taken in college are more hands on courses. I am a broadcast journalism student with a theatre minor, it is imperative that I work with other people in both fields of study. In English classes I prefer small group work that later evolves into large group discussion. I prefer this style because it allows me to form my own opinion on material and have a partner who can back me up, but also am able to hear other students.
I am able to adapt my learning styles to each course and each professor. It is a skill that has taken 16 years of schooling to prefect, but I believe it is a skill that will be useful in life long after my classroom education has ended. In life we never truly stop learning, just the environment in which we are taught changes.
***
***
Friday, October 15, 2004
Paragraph experiments
Original
He surprised me. Have you ever known someone for a while and then see them in a new light. I knew of him for two years before I ended up working with him. He was just a friend, nothing more, but one day I suddenly found myself extremely attracted to everything about him. I was drawn in by his mysterious eyes and half smiles that hung on his face like a crooked license plate. I even began to appreciate the small things, like those stone washed jeans that he always used to wear and his wide collection of interesting sweatshirts, each with a unique story. Yet I was searching for my way to connect with him.
Metaphor use
He was as unpredictable as a tornado. At times he would sweep you up, just to throw you back down or never bother you at all. He intrigued me. His eyes, which resembled a fresh brewed hazelnut coffee, with eyelashes that danced with every blink of his eye. He always had a half smile that hung on his face like a crooked license plate. The small details that made him, him also sent my heart racing. The jeans that he always used to wear that were as blue as a robin’s egg. His sweatshirts were very important to him, each of them had a unique story. One sweatshirt he bought in high school while at Disney World, he liked it because it had three buttons at the top AND a hood. One of this favorite details of the sweatshirt was the little rip in the front pocket, the top of the pocket hung down like a floppy bunny ear. He didn’t remember when or why it ripped, but he didn’t care because he said, "It gives the sweatshirt personality."
Start with the ending of the essay...build backwards
His number one fear is to let people really get to know him. It’s no surprise that is why he hides behind his crooked smiles, silly sweatshirts and mind games. He needs to stop trying to distract people with his ways and let people in. He’d be surprised how wonderful that could be. His distractions only caused me to be more interested; we got to be very close, too close in his standards. It was his insecurities that led to our distance. I really thought I got to know him, but I guess I never really knew him at all.
Sentence Rhythm
He liked his mystery. Known. He preferred not to be. He hid behind his quirks, brown eyes and sweatshirts. He could not distract me with all of his ways, not even the mind games that he often plays. I searched for a way to be let in. The common love of music was the right place to begin. I wish I could say that things worked out in the end, but the sad truth is that he is no longer my friend.
***
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Speaking in Silence
I find it ironic how the things I hesitate to write publicly are thing that I constantly write about in my journal. To me words are very powerful and need to be crafted. I do not properly express myself when I talk. There is not enough time to think and process what you want to say when you talk. There is also no backspace button when you talk. Sometimes I find myself wishing that I’d let people read my journals. I think it would help some of my relationships with people and give them a chance to know me better.
I write to truly hear myself. I have found that when I talk to other people I only speak. I do not hear. The best time for me to hear is when I am alone with only my thoughts. I allow myself time most nights to sit, think and journal. Writing in my journal is like my own personal therapy session.
When I write what is on my mind I am able to free it. The knowledge that my personal thoughts are documented helps me sleep at night. If the time comes that I need to revisit those thoughts I simple have to go back in my journal. When I reread my entries I am transported back to those memories. Writing gives me a chance to make connections and understand.
I write because I want to be heard. I am a very complicated person. I let very few people "in" and even then it is on a limited basis. The only person I can trust 100% with my innermost thoughts and emotions is myself.
Writing for me is how I heal.
***
Saturday, September 11, 2004
J is for Jitters
Finally it is time to enter the room of the first class of the first day of the school year. Where to sit? Should I sit wherever or are they going to put us in alphabetical order. Most teachers favor alphabetical order, it makes it easier on them to get to know our names. I already know where I’ll be sitting if it’s alphabetical. In the middle of the room because I am a J. I envy the A,B,C or the X,Y,Z students because they get to sit next to the window depending on the room. I never get to sit by the window. I sit dead center of the room, usually in the first few sits near the teacher. I guess that isn’t so bad, it made me a better student because I wasn’t distracted the window or who is walking past the door. I also made friends with many of the H,I,J,K,L students.
***
Friday, September 03, 2004
ENFJ = LEO
I am a student of life; there is not just one way to teach me. My education style inside the classroom as well as outside the classroom is always evolving. According to the typology tests we took online I am an ENFJ who has a kinesthetic learning preference and I favor a teaching environment which favors that dimension. I strongly agree with these outcomes. I am a big fan of personality and preference tests, I tend to believe them. There are definite trends in people and how their personalities and preferences affect every aspect of their life.
I would like to believe that I know myself very well, it’s taken a lot of time, but I think I have figured out that mystery that is me. One major source of self discovery has been through studying astrology and the zodiac. My Jung personality is an ENFJ, an extroverted, intuitive, feeling, judgmental person. All these qualities are also found strongly in the sign of Leo. I am a perfect example of a Leo. Zodiac signs help explain and illustrate different types of personalities and behaviors. As a Leo I have an appreciation for the arts and strong people skills.
In classes which are more factual I prefer to see what is being taught as well as work alone. When working with a group in classes such as science and math, I find the other group members to be more of a distraction than a help. In classes that are more based in theory such as sociology I enjoy class discussion and working with other students. Most classes I have taken in college are more hands on courses. I am a broadcast journalism student with a theatre minor, it is imperative that I work with other people in both fields of study. In English classes I prefer small group work that later evolves into large group discussion. I prefer this style because it allows me to form my own opinion on material and have a partner who can back me up, but also am able to hear other students.
I am able to adapt my learning styles to each course and each professor. It is a skill that has taken 16 years of schooling to prefect, but I believe it is a skill that will be useful in life long after my classroom education has ended. In life we never truly stop learning, just the environment in which we are taught changes.
***
Friday, January 15, 2010
Creep
I know I've mentioned this previously, but Radiohead's song "Creep" really speaks to me. Even more than the song itself sometimes is what the person singing it adds to the song. Seriously the song can take on such different meanings and tones based on the cover. I know the song is from 1992, but some how I have no real recollection of it until 3 years ago. One of the first time I remember hearing this song was at Karaoke, and then it was the David Cook's cover with his old band that really spoke to me. I actually just youtubed Creep covers and have found some real gems...all of which are SO different - including one that Prince did at Coachella in 2008. The lyrics are a bit dark, but I like dark lyrics. God bless emo which brought me dark lyrics put to catchy tunes!
Here are the lyrics:
When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh
She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here...
I really am starting to fixate on getting these lyrics tattoo on me at some point - granted that I EARN getting them.
I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
Here are the lyrics:
When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh
She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here...
I really am starting to fixate on getting these lyrics tattoo on me at some point - granted that I EARN getting them.
I don't care if it hurts,
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
Monday, January 11, 2010
On a Lighter Note
For those of you who read this google reader you miss all my fun gadgets in my side column, but I understand (I just converted to google reader as well). However I encourage you to take a minute and head over to my blog page if you don't already go directly to my blog and VOTE in my "Cups of Coffee" Poll on the top right.
This past weekend I FINALLY went to Sips N Strokes. Sips N Strokes is a place where you can BYOB and paint a picture with an instructor - our painting that night was cherries, but they have ALL kinda of stuff.
I went with my friend new friend Melissa and we had a fantastic time. It was stressful and relaxing at the same time...the wine also helped, but also distracted me haha. All and all I think mine turned out pretty well!
Note: Yes I blurred out my signature on the bottom right
I am actually going to a Sips N Strokes party for my friend Katie party in 2 weeks so I'm excited for a crack at something new - we are doing flowers in a vase that week I believe.
Lastly, another goal for this year is to cut back tremendously on gossip blogs and facebook. I am a nosey body and love knowing everything, but at the same time facebook, perezhilton, etc are MAJOR time wasters and I need to focus as much as possible on my life and my goals that those distractions are wasteful. Looking back I checked facebook and perez FAR too much and often - I don't know if I will completely break the habit, but the more I can cut back the better. I am going to try and limit myself to twitter, people and entertainment weekly (ew.com) to the best of my abilities. By the way TWITTER is magical - seriously. I follow friends, celebs, websites etc. It really is like reading headlines because lots of tweets have links to articles. I think it's fantastic.
This past weekend I FINALLY went to Sips N Strokes. Sips N Strokes is a place where you can BYOB and paint a picture with an instructor - our painting that night was cherries, but they have ALL kinda of stuff.
I went with my friend new friend Melissa and we had a fantastic time. It was stressful and relaxing at the same time...the wine also helped, but also distracted me haha. All and all I think mine turned out pretty well!
Note: Yes I blurred out my signature on the bottom right
I am actually going to a Sips N Strokes party for my friend Katie party in 2 weeks so I'm excited for a crack at something new - we are doing flowers in a vase that week I believe.
Lastly, another goal for this year is to cut back tremendously on gossip blogs and facebook. I am a nosey body and love knowing everything, but at the same time facebook, perezhilton, etc are MAJOR time wasters and I need to focus as much as possible on my life and my goals that those distractions are wasteful. Looking back I checked facebook and perez FAR too much and often - I don't know if I will completely break the habit, but the more I can cut back the better. I am going to try and limit myself to twitter, people and entertainment weekly (ew.com) to the best of my abilities. By the way TWITTER is magical - seriously. I follow friends, celebs, websites etc. It really is like reading headlines because lots of tweets have links to articles. I think it's fantastic.
Fit or Fat
So this is IT.
I can be honest here right?
I wouldn't say I haven't gotten deep on here, but this is probably more honest than I've been in a while and mostly with myself.
I'm committed to changing my diet and lifestyle this year.
I have been on a half ass diet for most of my adult life, that has yielded limited or temporary results.
I'd say the last time I really felt good about myself was my sophomore year of college/beginning of junior year. Looking back I really looked pretty great. Strangely enough I have no idea how much I weighed then either, therefore I don't have how far off I am from getting there again.
I'd say I was also in decent shape my last semester of grad school. I even have TONS of great clothes from that period that I would love to wear again.
Well I'm dedicated this year. I'm testing my self, my mind, my body and my soul.
If I'm not successful in OH-TEN than I think I'm going to commit to being fat.
My dad struggled most of his life with weight and yo-yoing. He was heavy for most of my youth and then in high school he lost 100 pounds with slimfast, diet, and exercise. He even kept it off for 6-8years. It was when he retired that he started putting on weight again and obviously defeated he let him self gain nearly all of that weight back. His unhappiness with his body ultimately led him to get gastric bypass surgery which killed him.
I want to love my body, whichever body I am supposed to have and maintain. So if things don't work out for me this year (which is a trail run, which if successful I plan to keep up for the rest of my life) than I want to stop trying to reach for something that is impossible and just learn to love myself where ever I'm at.
Now don't get me wrong I will always want to stay healthy...I want stay active and try and eat right, but I think this is a test of my state of mind, body and soul.
Seriously, why halfway diet if you get no results. My body tends to like where it's at regardless of what I eat or don't eat, exercise or don't exercise. So in 2011 if big changes haven't happened I think I'm going to be content with how I look, but I can't be content unless I try my darnedest within reason.
I have no plans to act like a biggest loser contestant, but I do plan on monitoring my sugar intake (my mom did that and transformed her body and her life),I also want to eliminate late night eating (only liquids after 9pm), in addition to going to the gym at least 4 times a week (I would like to try and get to a 10 minute mile on the treadmill), I want to walk more (morning walks with Freddie before work to get my blood pumping, parking farther at work, etc).
Ideally I'd like to lose 5 lbs a month (which means 40 pounds by my birthday which would be magical). I am only going to weigh myself on Fridays, instead of obsessively weighing myself. I'm on a kick of writing lots of things down (thanks in part to my coffee count) I have made a nightly checklist so to speak to keep my self accountable. I also think writing all this in blog form also makes me accountable. I not only said it, but I WROTE it for the whole world to see (not like the whole world reads this), so it's pressure, but good pressure.
My mantra may come from a weird place, but it has been speaking to me nearly a year now:
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
It's from Radiohead's song "Creep", but the lyrics really stood out to me when David Cook covered it in his old band Axium. Obviously I'm not looking to fit popculture's definition of perfection, but rather the best version of myself.
If I meet my goal, I would also like to get those lyrics tattooed on my side/ribs. Recently I been to writing the lyrics everywhere to serve as a reminder of the task at hand.
I think this is all truly attainable. The only way I could fail is if I LET MYSELF FAIL.
I encourage you all to ask me how I'm doing and to keep me in your thoughts and prayers on my journey this year.
I can be honest here right?
I wouldn't say I haven't gotten deep on here, but this is probably more honest than I've been in a while and mostly with myself.
I'm committed to changing my diet and lifestyle this year.
I have been on a half ass diet for most of my adult life, that has yielded limited or temporary results.
I'd say the last time I really felt good about myself was my sophomore year of college/beginning of junior year. Looking back I really looked pretty great. Strangely enough I have no idea how much I weighed then either, therefore I don't have how far off I am from getting there again.
I'd say I was also in decent shape my last semester of grad school. I even have TONS of great clothes from that period that I would love to wear again.
Well I'm dedicated this year. I'm testing my self, my mind, my body and my soul.
If I'm not successful in OH-TEN than I think I'm going to commit to being fat.
My dad struggled most of his life with weight and yo-yoing. He was heavy for most of my youth and then in high school he lost 100 pounds with slimfast, diet, and exercise. He even kept it off for 6-8years. It was when he retired that he started putting on weight again and obviously defeated he let him self gain nearly all of that weight back. His unhappiness with his body ultimately led him to get gastric bypass surgery which killed him.
I want to love my body, whichever body I am supposed to have and maintain. So if things don't work out for me this year (which is a trail run, which if successful I plan to keep up for the rest of my life) than I want to stop trying to reach for something that is impossible and just learn to love myself where ever I'm at.
Now don't get me wrong I will always want to stay healthy...I want stay active and try and eat right, but I think this is a test of my state of mind, body and soul.
Seriously, why halfway diet if you get no results. My body tends to like where it's at regardless of what I eat or don't eat, exercise or don't exercise. So in 2011 if big changes haven't happened I think I'm going to be content with how I look, but I can't be content unless I try my darnedest within reason.
I have no plans to act like a biggest loser contestant, but I do plan on monitoring my sugar intake (my mom did that and transformed her body and her life),I also want to eliminate late night eating (only liquids after 9pm), in addition to going to the gym at least 4 times a week (I would like to try and get to a 10 minute mile on the treadmill), I want to walk more (morning walks with Freddie before work to get my blood pumping, parking farther at work, etc).
Ideally I'd like to lose 5 lbs a month (which means 40 pounds by my birthday which would be magical). I am only going to weigh myself on Fridays, instead of obsessively weighing myself. I'm on a kick of writing lots of things down (thanks in part to my coffee count) I have made a nightly checklist so to speak to keep my self accountable. I also think writing all this in blog form also makes me accountable. I not only said it, but I WROTE it for the whole world to see (not like the whole world reads this), so it's pressure, but good pressure.
My mantra may come from a weird place, but it has been speaking to me nearly a year now:
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
It's from Radiohead's song "Creep", but the lyrics really stood out to me when David Cook covered it in his old band Axium. Obviously I'm not looking to fit popculture's definition of perfection, but rather the best version of myself.
If I meet my goal, I would also like to get those lyrics tattooed on my side/ribs. Recently I been to writing the lyrics everywhere to serve as a reminder of the task at hand.
I think this is all truly attainable. The only way I could fail is if I LET MYSELF FAIL.
I encourage you all to ask me how I'm doing and to keep me in your thoughts and prayers on my journey this year.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Freedom
My PASSPORT came in the mail today! SOSOSOSOSO exciting. It feels like I just got my driver's license all over again. Oh the possibilities. To quote Mr. David Cook "There's a lot of the world I want to experience. I'm open to anywhere. I've got a passport for the first time in my life and I want to fill it up with stamps."
Ireland December 2010 - who wants to sponsor my trip?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Stylin' and Profilin'
I have no idea if people read other people's Facebook profile's ever. I know I read peoples because they took the time to write it and I like sneek peeks into the heads of people I may or may not know very well. I feel that my Facebook profile is a very accurate assessment of myself. I enjoy updating it and making it "me." I hope people read mine and if you don't you should start...I've learned very interesting things about people via Facebook profiles. So for those of you who I am Facebook friends with that haven't read it or for those of you who don't know me and just lurk on my blog (and I LOVE that you do...show yourself in the comments section or something...I read plenty of blogs written by people I don't know because they are interesting. It's like a book and people have no problems reading books written by people they don't know) ok enough rambling.
Political Views: Liberally Independent* (note: I "made up" that viewpoint title, but I do think it's fitting for my political beliefs)
Activities: Camp War Eagle. SOS. Alpha Phi. NODA. What The Fox Improv.
Interests: Coffee. big cities. theatre. concerts. astrology. tattoos. new music. writing/blogging. college. anything orange. my dog. laughing. beaches. rediscovering my inner punk. moonroofs. 6'4 guys. my fabulous friends. the Q. being random.
Favorite Music: Music shakes my soul alive. Absolute favorites: David Cook. Incubus. The Spill Canvas. Broadway Showtunes.
Favorite TV Shows: Full House. How I Met Your Mother. True Blood. The Soup. Modern Family. SVU. Food Network Challenge. American Idol. Pawn Stars. Criminal Minds.
Favorite Movies: Anything with Johnny Depp especially Crybaby.
Favorite Books: Meg Cabot/Dan Brown/Janet Evanovich/Jodi Piccoult Books. The Twilight Saga. Sookie Stackhouse Series.
Favorite Quotations: I don't care if it hurts. I want to have control. I want perfect body. I want a perfect soul.
Just because someone likes the same bizarro crap you do doesn't mean they are your soul mate.
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine.
Joie de vivre.
About Me: Loved or hated, but never ignored.
My best friends describe me as - Mean. Funny. Weird. and Gross.
I love music more than I do breathing. Coffee is my drug of choice.
I'm a punk rock princess looking for my garage band king.
Missing you everyday Daddy...4.25.49 - 11.18.07
Political Views: Liberally Independent* (note: I "made up" that viewpoint title, but I do think it's fitting for my political beliefs)
Activities: Camp War Eagle. SOS. Alpha Phi. NODA. What The Fox Improv.
Interests: Coffee. big cities. theatre. concerts. astrology. tattoos. new music. writing/blogging. college. anything orange. my dog. laughing. beaches. rediscovering my inner punk. moonroofs. 6'4 guys. my fabulous friends. the Q. being random.
Favorite Music: Music shakes my soul alive. Absolute favorites: David Cook. Incubus. The Spill Canvas. Broadway Showtunes.
Favorite TV Shows: Full House. How I Met Your Mother. True Blood. The Soup. Modern Family. SVU. Food Network Challenge. American Idol. Pawn Stars. Criminal Minds.
Favorite Movies: Anything with Johnny Depp especially Crybaby.
Favorite Books: Meg Cabot/Dan Brown/Janet Evanovich/Jodi Piccoult Books. The Twilight Saga. Sookie Stackhouse Series.
Favorite Quotations: I don't care if it hurts. I want to have control. I want perfect body. I want a perfect soul.
Just because someone likes the same bizarro crap you do doesn't mean they are your soul mate.
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine.
Joie de vivre.
About Me: Loved or hated, but never ignored.
My best friends describe me as - Mean. Funny. Weird. and Gross.
I love music more than I do breathing. Coffee is my drug of choice.
I'm a punk rock princess looking for my garage band king.
Missing you everyday Daddy...4.25.49 - 11.18.07
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
How I Met Your Idol?
Guess which American Idol winner is going to guest star on an incoming episode of How I Met Your Mother?
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Carrie Underwood.
Seriously guys if it was David Cook I would not be breathing right now...my head and ovaries would have exploded from that awesomeness. For real if 2 of my favorite things were combined like that AND the fact that my friend George works there and could hook me up...PLEASE I would absolutely die. None the less I do enjoy Carrie and am excited for the episode. David however will be on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition this weekend. What a do gooder <3
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Carrie Underwood.
Seriously guys if it was David Cook I would not be breathing right now...my head and ovaries would have exploded from that awesomeness. For real if 2 of my favorite things were combined like that AND the fact that my friend George works there and could hook me up...PLEASE I would absolutely die. None the less I do enjoy Carrie and am excited for the episode. David however will be on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition this weekend. What a do gooder <3
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The Dash
I've heard parts of this poem before and a certain *someone* just got the last stanza of this poem tattooed on his arm, so I figured I should check it out and I was touched. Perhaps this will give you some perspective on how you spend your OH-TEN.
The Dash, by Linda Ellis
I read of a man who stood to speak,
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from beginning to the end.
He noted that first came her date of birth
and spoke the following with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all,
was the dash in between those years.
For the dash represents, all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars, the house, the cash,
what matters most is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
hat can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough,
to consider what is true and real.
And always try to understand,
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more,
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash
would you be proud of the things they say
and how your spent your dash?
The Dash, by Linda Ellis
I read of a man who stood to speak,
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from beginning to the end.
He noted that first came her date of birth
and spoke the following with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all,
was the dash in between those years.
For the dash represents, all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars, the house, the cash,
what matters most is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
hat can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough,
to consider what is true and real.
And always try to understand,
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more,
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash
would you be proud of the things they say
and how your spent your dash?
Monday, January 4, 2010
Measuring a Year
Happy OH-TEN everyone!
I have taken on a challenge for this year - well truth be told I plan to take on quite a few challenges this year. Most notably after being inspired by listening to "Seasons of Love"
While on my road trip back to Auburn with Drew I have decided to measure 2010 in "cups of coffee"
So keep your eye out on my "coffee count" (on the right tool bar of the blog - and also on Facebook for those of you I am Facebook friends with). This year I'd also like to share cups of coffee with as many people as possible. I'll also take donations for coffee funds. I think Starbucks Via (instant coffee) should help me from breaking the bank entirely. I can't even count how much coffee I drank the past 2 weeks that I've been home. Dunkin Donuts Iced coffees galore and endless cups of coffee at my mom's house. Seriously I wouldn't be surprised if I had 50. I do want to mention that a "cup" of coffee is really like a serving. So 1 cup of coffee at a diner is equal to a large iced coffee, but if I get a refill of diner coffee that counts as a second coffee. Let's hope I can keep this all straight.
I actually plan on keeping track of a lot of things this year. How many miles I run, what I eat, how much money I spend, etc. I also hope to work on Freddie's obedience level...we'll see.
I have taken on a challenge for this year - well truth be told I plan to take on quite a few challenges this year. Most notably after being inspired by listening to "Seasons of Love"
While on my road trip back to Auburn with Drew I have decided to measure 2010 in "cups of coffee"
So keep your eye out on my "coffee count" (on the right tool bar of the blog - and also on Facebook for those of you I am Facebook friends with). This year I'd also like to share cups of coffee with as many people as possible. I'll also take donations for coffee funds. I think Starbucks Via (instant coffee) should help me from breaking the bank entirely. I can't even count how much coffee I drank the past 2 weeks that I've been home. Dunkin Donuts Iced coffees galore and endless cups of coffee at my mom's house. Seriously I wouldn't be surprised if I had 50. I do want to mention that a "cup" of coffee is really like a serving. So 1 cup of coffee at a diner is equal to a large iced coffee, but if I get a refill of diner coffee that counts as a second coffee. Let's hope I can keep this all straight.
I actually plan on keeping track of a lot of things this year. How many miles I run, what I eat, how much money I spend, etc. I also hope to work on Freddie's obedience level...we'll see.
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