I was thinking about my first blog EVER back in 2004, when I was assigned to create one in my Creative Non-Fiction class my senior year of college. We used the "new" blog technology to post our writing so our classmates could read and critique it. I thought I would share some of my favorites with you here. Keep in mind many of them were based on honing particular styles of writing.
Friday, October 15, 2004
He surprised me. Have you ever known someone for a while and then see them in a new light. I knew of him for two years before I ended up working with him. He was just a friend, nothing more, but one day I suddenly found myself extremely attracted to everything about him. I was drawn in by his mysterious eyes and half smiles that hung on his face like a crooked license plate. I even began to appreciate the small things, like those stone washed jeans that he always used to wear and his wide collection of interesting sweatshirts, each with a unique story. Yet I was searching for my way to connect with him.
He was as unpredictable as a tornado. At times he would sweep you up, just to throw you back down or never bother you at all. He intrigued me. His eyes, which resembled a fresh brewed hazelnut coffee, with eyelashes that danced with every blink of his eye. He always had a half smile that hung on his face like a crooked license plate. The small details that made him, him also sent my heart racing. The jeans that he always used to wear that were as blue as a robin’s egg. His sweatshirts were very important to him, each of them had a unique story. One sweatshirt he bought in high school while at Disney World, he liked it because it had three buttons at the top AND a hood. One of this favorite details of the sweatshirt was the little rip in the front pocket, the top of the pocket hung down like a floppy bunny ear. He didn’t remember when or why it ripped, but he didn’t care because he said, "It gives the sweatshirt personality."
Start with the ending of the essay...build backwards
His number one fear is to let people really get to know him. It’s no surprise that is why he hides behind his crooked smiles, silly sweatshirts and mind games. He needs to stop trying to distract people with his ways and let people in. He’d be surprised how wonderful that could be. His distractions only caused me to be more interested; we got to be very close, too close in his standards. It was his insecurities that led to our distance. I really thought I got to know him, but I guess I never really knew him at all.
He liked his mystery. Known. He preferred not to be. He hid behind his quirks, brown eyes and sweatshirts. He could not distract me with all of his ways, not even the mind games that he often plays. I searched for a way to be let in. The common love of music was the right place to begin. I wish I could say that things worked out in the end, but the sad truth is that he is no longer my friend.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Speaking in Silence
I find it ironic how the things I hesitate to write publicly are thing that I constantly write about in my journal. To me words are very powerful and need to be crafted. I do not properly express myself when I talk. There is not enough time to think and process what you want to say when you talk. There is also no backspace button when you talk. Sometimes I find myself wishing that I’d let people read my journals. I think it would help some of my relationships with people and give them a chance to know me better.
I write to truly hear myself. I have found that when I talk to other people I only speak. I do not hear. The best time for me to hear is when I am alone with only my thoughts. I allow myself time most nights to sit, think and journal. Writing in my journal is like my own personal therapy session.
When I write what is on my mind I am able to free it. The knowledge that my personal thoughts are documented helps me sleep at night. If the time comes that I need to revisit those thoughts I simple have to go back in my journal. When I reread my entries I am transported back to those memories. Writing gives me a chance to make connections and understand.
I write because I want to be heard. I am a very complicated person. I let very few people "in" and even then it is on a limited basis. The only person I can trust 100% with my innermost thoughts and emotions is myself.
Writing for me is how I heal.
Saturday, September 11, 2004
J is for Jitters
Finally it is time to enter the room of the first class of the first day of the school year. Where to sit? Should I sit wherever or are they going to put us in alphabetical order. Most teachers favor alphabetical order, it makes it easier on them to get to know our names. I already know where I’ll be sitting if it’s alphabetical. In the middle of the room because I am a J. I envy the A,B,C or the X,Y,Z students because they get to sit next to the window depending on the room. I never get to sit by the window. I sit dead center of the room, usually in the first few sits near the teacher. I guess that isn’t so bad, it made me a better student because I wasn’t distracted the window or who is walking past the door. I also made friends with many of the H,I,J,K,L students.
Friday, September 03, 2004
ENFJ = LEO
I am a student of life; there is not just one way to teach me. My education style inside the classroom as well as outside the classroom is always evolving. According to the typology tests we took online I am an ENFJ who has a kinesthetic learning preference and I favor a teaching environment which favors that dimension. I strongly agree with these outcomes. I am a big fan of personality and preference tests, I tend to believe them. There are definite trends in people and how their personalities and preferences affect every aspect of their life.
I would like to believe that I know myself very well, it’s taken a lot of time, but I think I have figured out that mystery that is me. One major source of self discovery has been through studying astrology and the zodiac. My Jung personality is an ENFJ, an extroverted, intuitive, feeling, judgmental person. All these qualities are also found strongly in the sign of Leo. I am a perfect example of a Leo. Zodiac signs help explain and illustrate different types of personalities and behaviors. As a Leo I have an appreciation for the arts and strong people skills.
In classes which are more factual I prefer to see what is being taught as well as work alone. When working with a group in classes such as science and math, I find the other group members to be more of a distraction than a help. In classes that are more based in theory such as sociology I enjoy class discussion and working with other students. Most classes I have taken in college are more hands on courses. I am a broadcast journalism student with a theatre minor, it is imperative that I work with other people in both fields of study. In English classes I prefer small group work that later evolves into large group discussion. I prefer this style because it allows me to form my own opinion on material and have a partner who can back me up, but also am able to hear other students.
I am able to adapt my learning styles to each course and each professor. It is a skill that has taken 16 years of schooling to prefect, but I believe it is a skill that will be useful in life long after my classroom education has ended. In life we never truly stop learning, just the environment in which we are taught changes.