Rrrrring Rrrrring

I had not one, but two pretty interesting phone conversations this week. So three months later I finally had a "wrap up/final evaluation" with my former supervisor. Right after I left the job I was ready to give him a real piece of my mind...but I guess time heals most wounds because I was very calm and it was ALMOST a pleasant convo. I got to FINALLY hear some praise from him, which was something I never got. I also got to give him some feedback, which I was able to do nicely and constructively - who would have thought! Overall it was a good convo and I'm glad to have had some closure.

My other phone call was yesterday. So I met a boy this weekend - a verrrrry cute boy -who is not only cute, but really freakin funny. Now I understand that I was being coy or a little hard to get, but that's how I roll. So we exchanged numbers and he essentially told me to call him. Me call HIM oh my. So after consulting a number of people I decided to call him Thursday (Oh the games we play, but you gotta sometimes). So I did, I called. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to answer or voicemail. Well after a few rings it went to voicemail - okay. I start to leave my rehearsed, but breezy message when I hear someone beep in. It's him - yay! He seemed rather excited that I called him, which is presh. Let me note that I HATE talking to people on the phone that I don't know really well (I could be ordering pizza or calling across campus and still HATE calling) so obviously calling a hot guy is even MORE stressful. After being and awkward school girl for a minute I got a grip and the convo went smooth. So he's so freakin funny and and easy target to crack on. So yeah we talked for a bit and then his cell was dying so he said to call him over the next few days. DAMNIT...so here I am with the pressure to call him again. I'm am gonna damn well make sure I tell him to call me next. At least when you are the caller you know when the call is happening, the receiver of the call has to deal with the not knowing/element of surprise. It's a tough break either way. So we shall see...

Why this weekend was re-damn-diculous

My friend Sara came in for the weekend which was OUT OF CONTROL. All I can really share with you are random quotes/happenings from this weekend that Sara and I put together.

THE List
-Dirty republicans
-I’m married but I took my wedding ring off in the weight room
-How about you take my buddies back to our hotel room and we’ll give you some redbull vodka
-HELLO...Hello
-100% alcohol cosmos
-I’m not some perv I have references
-Do you have your resume now or do you need to print it
-Are you from Minnesota x 2
-Are you wiccan x 2
-You sound like Sarah Palin
-I’m a nice guy...
-Blonde headed slut...there may or may not be jaeger in here
-Brain hangover
-We took pictures driving the shot bus...that sounded bad
-I have to change my underwear x5
-Dangerzone
-Hot pockets
-25 birthday licks
-No balls Freddie
-I have cotton mouth
-Sara you were really hungry
-Loafers...bangs...crokeys
-Falling up the stairs
-Shaker whistling
-Aisle roamers
-Super Mario Brothers - correction hot Super Mario Brothers
-Toit pants, tiot shots
-Fashion police
-Taking obvious pictures of people and things
-...all for you
-Thai lezbos
-Sushi feeding
-Hand measuring
-Stale fortune cookies
-Crazy change crack whore
-Spiffy lip balm holder
-I’m gonna drop my keys and see of he picks them up
-Wing woman
-Arm wrestling
-Dane-ish not Danish
-Polygamy
-Pinkies up
-We’re married in my mind
-Dave your crotch smelled so bad you almost made a dog puke
-Shit eater
-Wheezing
-Making out in the parking lot
-Jenn should we not go to bed
-Freddie’s afraid of you he doesn’t want you to in here
-No I didn’t open the door
-Making out on the oven
-Prop cigarette
-Thumbs up thumbs down
-Investigating his wallet
-Showing up at supper club...OMFG
-Stalking us
-Towed car...expletives
-I already know the answer to this but, can me and 5 friends can crash at your place
-I’m sleeping on a dog pillow
-Coffee and ice cream sandwiches
-Smiley face mug
-Skim milk...half and half...did you say you wanted skim milk
-Your dog is queer
-Sara she locked the door
-Can you drop me off first at the Best Western???
-You dance like a stripper
-SNAPS
-Girlie man beer
-Wal-mart the one stop shop
-Where are you guys??
-Creepy candid camera
-Mouthwash.
-Furry teeth
-He couldn’t come upstairs I had to take my eyelashes off
-Were u sitting on the floor making out with him????????
-There were too many hot men here...all the electronics went on the fritz
-I’d rather take a drug dealer over someone who lives at home
-Babygirl
-Do not go in there
-It doesn’t sound as good when we say it out loud
-I didn’t touch his junk...hand raise...I did
-As pushy as he was he was respectful
-This is a courtesy message from...
-Bad accents
-Ignorance is bliss...in the south
-Message on Colleen’s voicemail
-Channing Tatum and Adam Pascal
-I forgot to close my tab x2
-I can't get over how those really look like daisies
-Dave is it ok if I look at her trampstamp
-Ink on my body has nothing to do with how sexually active I am...look at all that shit on your arms
-Adam sit down..sit..where are you going to go
-Snoring x2
-Unconscious in the kitchen/living room
-Adam wake up!
-We’re on the couch 96ing
-No Jenn a 69 would look like this...no don't show me
-2 hours of sleep total between us
-Talking about armpit hair x2
-butt crack
-I know everything about you except you blood type, your shoe size,and your name
-He looks like a cat...who Freddie or Adam
-I don’t want to wake him up because he’ll relize his car is towed
-It’s quiet hours guys
-Did you know your car was towed x2 or 3
-Take one last minute to let it all out
-Freddie photoshoot
-Shuttlecock - literally shuttling cock
-Can you send a picture of that Tator guy?
-OMG my blog from Thursday like came true!

And finally...

Bad Boys

I still sometimes surprise myself with my taste in guys, but one "trend" that hasn't seemed to go away is my "bad boy complex." Bad boys. I just can't get enough. And then put an instrument and/or microphone in their hands...hot damn. I don't know what it is and I am well aware I am not alone in liking bad boys. Maybe because it's dangerous or it spices up the chase I don't know. Now don't confuse bad boys with jerks...yes there is some overlap, but I don't think they should be grouped together. Don't get me wrong I've dealt with my fair share of jerks. I've also dealt with my least favorite group of them all "nice guys." Nice...kiss of death. If the number one way someone describes you is as nice...then move along. I'd rather be called ugly than nice...I really mean that. It's my blog, If I can't be honest here than where can I be. Nice is so boring and safe. At least jerks and bad boys have some mystic or personality. Plus I'm not a nice person...I'm generally sarcastic, mean, funny, even weird at times. Can I treat people nicely...yes, but I'm not nice and I wouldn't want to be. Now before you think I'm either a liar or crazy, let me explain. I am approachable, generous, thoughtful, helpful and many other things along those lines. I just have never liked the word nice or the "blah-ness" associated with it. I like having a little edge and I like guys with a little edge.

Now don't get me wrong, a police record is not the number 1 thing I look for in a guys, but a guy who has gotten into a few fights in his life. Hot. Drinking brown liquors. Hot. Being tormented and brooding. Insanely hot.I love guys with tattoos, eye liner, piercings, necklaces, painted nails and those guys are generally rocker guys. I also like guys who are musical, play an instrument or sing. So you put them together and I'm in heaven. Now you may know me and look and me and say I'm not a rocker chick and I somewhat agree. However in addition for my love of music, concerts, lyrics, guitars despite the fact that I am not musically gifted at all I also have some subtle rocker qualities. I have a few strategically placed tattoos, I keep my finger nail polish colors interesting (currently they are sparkly pink with black tips), I regularly wear jewelry with stars on it (or handcuffs haha), I have some black streaks in my hair (I even had the bottom few inches hot pink for a few weeks in college, I am actually considering putting some subtle pink streaks back in my hair), I love dramatic eye makeup (especially fake eyelashes, black eye liner, smokey eyes and glitter). So no I'm not a blatant rocker chick, but it's also because I am too multifaceted to commit, however I strongly believe a person's subtleties say a lot about them.

So would I love to date an actual rockstar...yes, yes I would. But I would just a much love to date to lawyer who moonlights a rocker by night. Plus I just really want someone to write a song about me. Sadly there aren't too many rocker types in eastern Alabama, but I'm keeping my eyes open and my hopes up (and yes this includes Delicious).

In Repair

I really might start carrying a motion sickness bag around with me. Why you ask...because this roller coaster that is my life is starting to make me sick at times. It's so crazy how one day I can be fine and the next I'm miserable....sometime it even happens in the same day. I need a steady patch, my emotions are exhausting me. The folks who have seen the brunt of my nasty streak have been the people in my writing class, mostly because the class isn't what I wanted it to be, needed it to be. These people already wrote nearly complete books and basically want us to proof read it, so I've gone on a few tirades in class, but I don't care....yelling makes me feel better. For an exercise in class yesterday I wrote something really dark and morbid just to freak them out for the fun of it. I'm sure they think I'm a headcase, but maybe I am and I don't care. One thing I wrote in the writing exercise between a character and her therapist was a quote a heard once and keeps me from giving up, "the children the world almost break become the adults who save it."

So yeah, I'm broken....big shock there. But to quote John Mayer who I was just listening to and inspired me to take a minute and write this blog, "I'm in repair, I'm not together, but I'm getting there."

A short story entitled "Why this past weekend was awesome"

Colleen, aka my other half, came to visit for a best friend weekend extravaganza. Clearly Colleen charmed everyone in my office - even when she first met them 2 years ago they referred to her (lovingly) as the better version of me. Clearly one of the first things on the to do list was get Colleen some world famous Toomer’s Lemonade followed by mani/pedis. Colleen went for a dark purple while I went for the orange tipped French mani, it’s FIERECE...it may be my new trademark! We went to eat a Locos which is a yummy bar/grill place where we had a cheesy, potatoe explosion aka heaven in my mouth as an appetizer.

Then it was time to get gorgeous, well MORE gorgeous for a night out. We totally did it was college style with music playing and drinking beers as we got ready together. Love it! So I decided to try out 2 news places with Colleen, the first being Bar 51 which took us like 20 minutes to find...oh what it’s the place with the loud music right off the exit where it said it would be...gotcha. Anyway it was a very chill lounge/martini bar that boasted an "ice bar" that gave you fur coats to wear as you drank out of ice cups, but it looked more like a closet. The crowd, band and drinks were all good times. We moved onto this new posh ultra lounge called In Italy where apparently the only guidos in Alabama go, but it was really snazzy in there. The strangest part of the night was when we were dancing to hip/hop in the back room (note I am a TERRIBLE dancer) and a big tall black guy even says in passing that I’m a bad dancer, yet later he comes up and dances with me which is HILARIOUS because he would have fared better with Colleen who can dance and likes the dark chocolate from time to time. The best part was the meaner I was to him the more he seemed to like me go figure.

Saturday was GAMEDAY baby! Some of my fab CWE 06/08 friends saved us awesome student sections seats, plus we got there in time to see the video I made on the jumbotron...HOLLER! Plus I got on the jumbotron in the 3rd quarter thanks to these 2 guys dressed as Auburn’s version of Mario and Luigi. After a narrow Auburn victory went to Roll Toomer’s corner (an Auburn tradition of toilet papering trees after any sports victory). Then I took Colleen to Cock of the Walk for dinner where we got to eat off of tin places and drink out of tin cups and eat deep fried EVERYTHING, plus we had a waiter throw cornbread. However the best part was discovering the new and meaningless word - CHUNCUI!!!! I found the word hilarious even though it’s really the name of an old timey sport or something. By the time dinner was over it was like 9pm and we were beat, so we took a power nap/rest before rallying to go bar hopping.

To my surprise we made it to 3 different bars Saturday night. The first bar we went to was just too packed, so after one drink (which I ordered like an idiot to a cute bartender) we left. Our next stop was less crazy and we had a funny bartender who made the MOST yummy Razz and Diets. At one point after not that many drinks I nearly bit it going downstairs to use the potty, but no one saw...THANK GOD. Luckily on a more success trip to the potty I found a badass star ring that now has found its home onmy left middle finger...SCORE! Later we were hit on by a Master P impersonator and his pretend 21 year old son. Then we got mediocre pizza and we kept telling people it tasted like a paper plate, but it was 2am and out night was not over yet!

Colleen drove to Supper Club, since I was on the road to intoxication. However although Colleen had only 2 drinks she managed to nearly kill us. She was going to make a left and thought the road split in the road left to a suicide lane (the middle lane where you can turn either direction) well it was not, it was a lane of traffic going the opposite direction. Luckily no one was on the road and Colleen made the left turn anyway from the HOMICIDE LANE (we’re gonna copyright that) and drove to supper club where we watched a Delicious. Now keep in mind Colleen has never driven in Auburn before so she didn’t know the roads and luckily we can look back and laugh.

Anyway we made it to Supper Club in one piece to see Delicious play. You read that right D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S. It’s the name of an area cover band fronted by a hottie rightfully nicknamed named Delicious who used to be in the Velro Pygmies (another area cover band who I adore). Well since my 2006 Auburn days Delicious left Velvro Pygmies, put together his own band, and cut his hair. Delicious had the long rocker hair with pink streaks in it. He has a thing for pink, which I think is HOTTT. Sadly now he’s wearing less eyeliner, but still has pink in his short rocker ‘do. Well Delicious put on a fab show playing covers from the 80s-now. We luckily caught the 2nd set from about 2:30am-4am. Confession: I have a MAJOR weakness for rocker guys. The tight jeans, crazy multicolored hair, stage antics, piercings, tattoos, guitars, singing-agh I’m losing self control even as I type this. Colleen and I made it to the front of the stage and rocked the f*ck out. And the culmination of the evening's fun was when Delicious-the lead singer-paused after a song to say and I quote "You guys in the back are ok, but up here in the front row these girls are on trampolines...with huge tits. Let's just say if my mom had tits that big I would still be breast feeding-Jesus."
And yes he was talking about me :)

Colleen swears I was dreaming about Delicious that night...I plead the fifth; I was enjoying an alcohol induced semi-coma from about 5am-11am. I woke up with a little headache, but nothing too bad considering the day we had had. We then went to get massive fully loaded baked potatoes for lunch and people watched folks in all their "Sunday Best." Then we made it to the pool at my apartment complex - yes on September 28 we were at the pool and we even went down the water slide a few times-while laughing hysterically. Then we went to dinner where we ate and drank the world to the point we couldn’t move. We ended the night watching the 1991 smash hit "Ladybugs" with the late Jonathan Brandis because Colleen couldn’t believe I actually had it on dvd (thanks sister). We the passed out only to wake up eat some greasy southern breakfast at my favorite place and then drop Colleen off at the shuttle back to the airport.

This brings me to the end of my tale of the best weekend there ever was. I wish you too had been there to enjoy this magical time, but hopefully you felt like you were there.