Friday, October 3, 2008

A short story entitled "Why this past weekend was awesome"

Colleen, aka my other half, came to visit for a best friend weekend extravaganza. Clearly Colleen charmed everyone in my office - even when she first met them 2 years ago they referred to her (lovingly) as the better version of me. Clearly one of the first things on the to do list was get Colleen some world famous Toomer’s Lemonade followed by mani/pedis. Colleen went for a dark purple while I went for the orange tipped French mani, it’s may be my new trademark! We went to eat a Locos which is a yummy bar/grill place where we had a cheesy, potatoe explosion aka heaven in my mouth as an appetizer.

Then it was time to get gorgeous, well MORE gorgeous for a night out. We totally did it was college style with music playing and drinking beers as we got ready together. Love it! So I decided to try out 2 news places with Colleen, the first being Bar 51 which took us like 20 minutes to find...oh what it’s the place with the loud music right off the exit where it said it would be...gotcha. Anyway it was a very chill lounge/martini bar that boasted an "ice bar" that gave you fur coats to wear as you drank out of ice cups, but it looked more like a closet. The crowd, band and drinks were all good times. We moved onto this new posh ultra lounge called In Italy where apparently the only guidos in Alabama go, but it was really snazzy in there. The strangest part of the night was when we were dancing to hip/hop in the back room (note I am a TERRIBLE dancer) and a big tall black guy even says in passing that I’m a bad dancer, yet later he comes up and dances with me which is HILARIOUS because he would have fared better with Colleen who can dance and likes the dark chocolate from time to time. The best part was the meaner I was to him the more he seemed to like me go figure.

Saturday was GAMEDAY baby! Some of my fab CWE 06/08 friends saved us awesome student sections seats, plus we got there in time to see the video I made on the jumbotron...HOLLER! Plus I got on the jumbotron in the 3rd quarter thanks to these 2 guys dressed as Auburn’s version of Mario and Luigi. After a narrow Auburn victory went to Roll Toomer’s corner (an Auburn tradition of toilet papering trees after any sports victory). Then I took Colleen to Cock of the Walk for dinner where we got to eat off of tin places and drink out of tin cups and eat deep fried EVERYTHING, plus we had a waiter throw cornbread. However the best part was discovering the new and meaningless word - CHUNCUI!!!! I found the word hilarious even though it’s really the name of an old timey sport or something. By the time dinner was over it was like 9pm and we were beat, so we took a power nap/rest before rallying to go bar hopping.

To my surprise we made it to 3 different bars Saturday night. The first bar we went to was just too packed, so after one drink (which I ordered like an idiot to a cute bartender) we left. Our next stop was less crazy and we had a funny bartender who made the MOST yummy Razz and Diets. At one point after not that many drinks I nearly bit it going downstairs to use the potty, but no one saw...THANK GOD. Luckily on a more success trip to the potty I found a badass star ring that now has found its home onmy left middle finger...SCORE! Later we were hit on by a Master P impersonator and his pretend 21 year old son. Then we got mediocre pizza and we kept telling people it tasted like a paper plate, but it was 2am and out night was not over yet!

Colleen drove to Supper Club, since I was on the road to intoxication. However although Colleen had only 2 drinks she managed to nearly kill us. She was going to make a left and thought the road split in the road left to a suicide lane (the middle lane where you can turn either direction) well it was not, it was a lane of traffic going the opposite direction. Luckily no one was on the road and Colleen made the left turn anyway from the HOMICIDE LANE (we’re gonna copyright that) and drove to supper club where we watched a Delicious. Now keep in mind Colleen has never driven in Auburn before so she didn’t know the roads and luckily we can look back and laugh.

Anyway we made it to Supper Club in one piece to see Delicious play. You read that right D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S. It’s the name of an area cover band fronted by a hottie rightfully nicknamed named Delicious who used to be in the Velro Pygmies (another area cover band who I adore). Well since my 2006 Auburn days Delicious left Velvro Pygmies, put together his own band, and cut his hair. Delicious had the long rocker hair with pink streaks in it. He has a thing for pink, which I think is HOTTT. Sadly now he’s wearing less eyeliner, but still has pink in his short rocker ‘do. Well Delicious put on a fab show playing covers from the 80s-now. We luckily caught the 2nd set from about 2:30am-4am. Confession: I have a MAJOR weakness for rocker guys. The tight jeans, crazy multicolored hair, stage antics, piercings, tattoos, guitars, singing-agh I’m losing self control even as I type this. Colleen and I made it to the front of the stage and rocked the f*ck out. And the culmination of the evening's fun was when Delicious-the lead singer-paused after a song to say and I quote "You guys in the back are ok, but up here in the front row these girls are on trampolines...with huge tits. Let's just say if my mom had tits that big I would still be breast feeding-Jesus."
And yes he was talking about me :)

Colleen swears I was dreaming about Delicious that night...I plead the fifth; I was enjoying an alcohol induced semi-coma from about 5am-11am. I woke up with a little headache, but nothing too bad considering the day we had had. We then went to get massive fully loaded baked potatoes for lunch and people watched folks in all their "Sunday Best." Then we made it to the pool at my apartment complex - yes on September 28 we were at the pool and we even went down the water slide a few times-while laughing hysterically. Then we went to dinner where we ate and drank the world to the point we couldn’t move. We ended the night watching the 1991 smash hit "Ladybugs" with the late Jonathan Brandis because Colleen couldn’t believe I actually had it on dvd (thanks sister). We the passed out only to wake up eat some greasy southern breakfast at my favorite place and then drop Colleen off at the shuttle back to the airport.

This brings me to the end of my tale of the best weekend there ever was. I wish you too had been there to enjoy this magical time, but hopefully you felt like you were there.

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