Back in 2006/2007 Unsorted Mail was one of my favorite blogs. The blog was funny "letters" to people/persons/things. Sadly the ladies that ran it have let it fall to the wayside.
After being a reader for a few months, I decided to be a contributor as well. Here is Unsorted Mail - the best of Jenniac!
It all started with...
thank you for finally getting the courage to submit a letter to unsorted mail. the world should not be without your comedic genius. love, jenniac.
dear speed limit,
in new york we think of you just as a suggestion, but thanks for the input. love, jenniac.
dear mtv's two-a-days,
why do i watch the same episodes over and over again? oh that's right, i can't get enough of southern boys with long bangs and bad grammar. love, jenniac.
dear short, but kinda cute guys that makes my coffee every morning,
is it wrong that i am beginning to think of our daily encounters as dates? love, jenniac.
Dear The Color Orange,
You rock my socks off! And my phone, and my coat, and my sheets, and my earrings, and my toothpaste, and my sneakers, and...well, you get the picture. Love, Jenniac.
dear 7th grade,
remember the pen15 club? those were the days. love, jenniac.
Dear Piece Of Crap Car Alarm Remote Battery,
Thanks for dying while I was at a rest stop getting gasoline and coffee. Breaking into my own car and having to ask a guy for a screwdriver...real fun, and not embarassing at all. Love, Jenniac.
Dear My Soul Sucking Job,
I'm literally counting down the minutes until my contract ends. And for the record, that's 246960 minutes. Love, Jenniac.
you know i am trying to avoiding you when i start proof reading my friends' facebook profiles. love, jenniac.
dear end of the semester,
thank you for ruining my social life, comedic abilities, and overall merryment. love, jenniac.
Dear Britney Spears,
Thank you for making me feel prettier and less crazy than ever before. Well done. Love, Jenniac.
dear my grad school colleagues and faculty,
high school called. they want their drama back. love, jenniac.
dear margaritas and sangria,
why don't you two kids mix together to form a glorious drink called a swirl. oh wait, those are already invented and i drank far too many of you this weekend. thanks for the hangover, it was well worth it. love, jenniac.
dear trainwrecks everywhere,
beware, lindsay lohan is ruining your good name. love, jenniac.
Dear Guy I Have Gone Out With A Few Times Who Is Everything I Wanted On Paper: Tall, Educated, Older, And Lives In My Town,
Why am I not attracted to you at all, yet it doesn't stop me from making out with you? Love, Jenniac.
Yes, the money is nice and the new responsibilities are great, but is it wrong that I am most excited about the fact that my boss is moving down the hall and I am getting his office? Love, Jenniac.
Dear Nipples On Men,
Why am I repulsed by you? Love, Jenniac.
Dear Phrase "Don't Mess With Texas,"
You bet this Yankee from New York that just moved here is gonna mess with you. Big time. Oh wait, everyone here has guns and uses them freely...just kidding. Love, Jenniac.
Dear First Season of Beverly Hills 90210 on DVD,
Dylan you are looking goooood. Brenda you are lookin rooooough. Love, Jenniac.
I haven't posted my all time favorite letter just yet, but it will be forthcoming along with a story to go with it very soon.